arghhhhhhhhhhhhh I WANNA SLEEP!!!! but I can't. it:s exactly 5:55 AM now and i haven't slept a wink. and I want to , I desperatley want to. but first I tossed and turned around , then the cats decided to have a fight on my bed of all places , scratching me in the process and after all that was gone I was so tired that I went neurotic meaning now my hand itches , then my foot , then a finger and so on. And now my nose is running as if I wasn't frustrated enough.
I WANT SOME GOD DAMN SLEEP!!!!

Well , it's been a while since I posted something. I've been busy with uni and all but it's the first time I don't hate the fact that I'm busy. There's so much planing to do and...... I'll let that for another post.
In case you're wandering what Nijikon is , it's the name of an anime convention here in my country. I went there yesterday with my friends from uni. I must admit I was disappointed. Few cosplayers and even fewer had decent costumes. The "goodies" stands weren't much. Just a bunch of stickers and posters. A few manga volumes , unknown titles though. But this is a new thing for my country so hopefully it will get better in time. I would have left the place completly disappointed if it weren't for 3 little bundles of joy. There was a Japanese familly with a food stand there and other 2 Japanese families with them , friends of theirs I guess. And there were 3 litle boys. The oldest one (I guess he was about 10) was really cute. Had shoulder lenght hair and was dressed really cool. He looked like one of Jhony's boys :P The other one must have been around 7 I guess. Hard to tell with them. They always look younger than they are. He was really shy and went runing for the hills when his mom told him to take a picture with us. But the smallest one was too adorable for words. As soon as we saw him we all went Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa kawaiiiiiiiii. We were a bunch of pervs :)) But he was really sweet. And one of the guys that was helping at the food stand was wearing a made costume. He looked cute in it :)) until you came down to his skinny legs. But really , he was very nice and took a pic with us and was very funny. I don't have all the pics yet but I'll try post some of the kids cause they were too cute. ^^
Oh and one of the older guys was dressed in a Lilo and Stich costume. :)) I love them for their crazynest.


me , the nutty guy in maid dress and my friend lulu


2 of my friends with stich and that buttercup that made us melt


another friend of mine and our fav guy of the day :))





some of the cosplayers.
K that's all for now. See ya guys. Hope you're having as much fun as I am.

Ummmmm I don't know quite how to say it. I need to gather my thoughts. I'm sick , got a nasty cold. It's a bit better now but I'm still coughing my lungs out.
So , I missed uni today and this evening got my notes from today's classes. (thank you to one of my classmates that had the brilliant idea to create a forum just for us first years specializing in English/Japanese , cause there are a lot others that chose different languages ; anyway , thanks to this forum I could get in touch with my classmates and one of them was sweet enough to post her notes from today) . And , my God , I feel overwhelmed already. And it's just the beginning of the semester. So far Japanese is good. I already know these first lessons (hiragana and katakana). I just need to learn about the shinto religion by Wednesday. But English is killing me. One of the teachers asked us to do a presentation by next week on Alexander Pope's poem "The Rape of the Lock" . This wouldn't be such a problem if I could understand a damn thing about the poem. It's written in old English style and I'm having a very difficult time with it. And this is for the advanced English class. How the heck did I ended up in the advanced class? The test we took was a total bullshit ; I wrote around 20 sentences maximum. How come they figured I'm advanced? with all my spelling and grammar mistakes. And the other teacher said that the final exam will be a written and oral presentation. I don't mind the written one but I freak out when I have to talk in front of people. Why does it have to be an oral presentation? :((
And , as if this wasn't enough , we have to take informatics class and that teacher has already handed out projects. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I suck with computers. I want to study foreign languages , I don't want to be an IP specialist. So why the info classes?
And we also have P.E classes , supposedly. We haven't had one until now but I heard we're suppose to choose between karate , shotokan and other martial arts thingies. But kendo is out of the program because there is no more teacher. Great , the only thing I would have liked.
Yeah , I know it all sounds great in theory , combining foreign languages with computers and a martial arts discipline. I would love to be able to do all those things and be good at. But I still have to get a job and I have a house fool of animals that requires lots of everyday cleaning and a sick mother (she got the cold from me , but she also has heart problems ; I hope she doesn't have to get admitted into the hospital because of her recent 'episodes' ).
I have no idea how I'm gonna cope with all of this. God help me and give me strenght please!

well , I did it. I enrolled for the JLPT test this December. I hope I'll be able to get to that level. But , by what are teachers say about the rithm of classes it shouldn't be a problem. i hope so.

i just got back from uni. we had only 1 class today but after there was a bunraku performance by a Japanese troupe . they were very nice and explaind everything to us and even invited a few on the stage to try it out. i tell you it's not as easy as it seems. we laughed a lot with them. really nice people. i hope we get more like them as guests.
another reason for being happy is that i finally ordered something from cd japan. namely , before i decay. and i know everyone got it already and it's probably no big news for you. but for me it means a lot because i never got myself any of their stuff thinking i need to pay the debts first. now i thought screw it. it's my last paycheck. might as well get something for myself. i can't wait for it to arrive.^^

Just got back from uni. I'm beat. Even though we only took an English test and I spent the rest of the time trying to talk to people. I hate these beginning periods when nobody knows anybody and we all just look around like we're looking for our mommies. and they haven't put up the schedule yet. it's frustrating. what are we supposed to do? sleep there over night so we make sure we get the schedule for the next day? gah , we're all like drunken chickens wandering around , no one knowing what to do. they only said we have an English contemporary literature course tomorrow at 2. hope that foes well. feels weird to be home so early and not having anything to do (except cleaning). feels weird to adjust to not having a job (for now) . gah , might as well get on with the cleaning cause i wanna practice some kanji. pardon me for sounding rude but i wanna beat the crap out of the others , at Japanese at least.tried talking to a few of them today. just short answers like yes or no and some dumb smiles and then turned their backs. i wanted to slap them honestly. it's not that i wanna be friends with them but we need some sort of communication between us if we're gonna go through this year together.
and another thing. we don't have books for the Japanese course. Like we can't find them in the library. The teacher gave 3 books to one of the girls and she made a list today with everybody so she can scan and print them. what a bunch of crap. just forces us to interact even though we don't really want to.
God give me pacience.

I have to leave for uni in 20 min. And I'm really nervous. I don't know why exactly. This last year I barely had contact with people outside work and home. Because the store where I worked is in my neighborhood I didn't even got into town except for a few times when I met with my friends from high school. It's like I've been living in the mountains until now and now I have to face civilization. Huhhhhh , take a deep breath . God help me. I've always been bad at meeting new people , I'll probably make a fool of myself with my new colleagues.
Ok , stop. Focus. I need to focus on one thing only and that is study. Not making friends and what not in uni.

i wanna give a biiiig thanks to po chan for making me this aoi layout. i love it so much. and i love u po chi ^^

Thank you for the birthday greetings my sweets! I was very happy to recieve them and also very sad for not hanging around with you guys more , like I used to. But all these sudden changes are eating up all of my time. So , after I settle down with uni and , hopefully , find a job that will allow me to go to classes as well , I can be with you guys more often. Or at least do some kind of regular program like 3 times a week or something. I don't know. Everything is like a big fog right now. I don't know the schedule or uni yet and so I can't go looking for a job right now. Besides , I still need to work until next Saturday in my , soon to be , ex job.
Anyway , getting carried away here. Thank you so so much for remembering my bday and taking the time to write me a little something. It made me feel very very happy. ^^ Hope you guys are doing well too. Hopefully I'll have time to check my fpage tomorow.
Have a good night and an even better day tomorow huny buns! Love ya!!!!!

I'm trying to get my brain to wake up by sipping on a cup of coffee. so far , not much luck :P
Well , today is exactly 24 years since I decided I've been sleeping inside my mommy's tummy enough and I went out to meet everyone. I was in a hurry to , I was born at 7 months instead of 9 :P My legs and especially my knees hurt ; I'm getting old :( But , that's not what I want to be like today , I don't want to b my usual complaining self. I just want to gather up some thoughts , get some perspective , before I leave home , because I need to run around to get some paperwork done for uni and because my ID has expired today and I need to renew it. So , about bday wishes...
Like every person out there , like every human , I'm full of selfish , material wishes. But I would be contempt if God will help me with my "spiritual" wishes at least. So ...
Dear God , please help me to be a better person , help me not to be selfish anymore , help me control my anger and the hatred that results from it againt others , help me o stop judging others and look more closely at my own actions! You have given me the best gift of all , a family that loves me and supports me. I couldn't imagine life without them. For those who have no one , take care of them dear God , protect them from harm!
Keep me healthy and strong so that I can be the support that my family needs. While my family still needs me , while my friends or people I have yet to meet , need help to get up when life has taken them down , while there is still one soul in this world who needs my help , don't let this body brake upon the hardships it will face. Help me be a support for those who have always been by my side and have helped me every time I felt beaten and had lost all hope.
Keep my mother healthy and happy so that I can see her smile every day by my side. Keep all of my family healthy and happy and never let us grow apart. They are the greatest treasure I have in this world.
Also , about my dad , please forgive him for what he did so many years ago , for leaving my mother when she was pregnant. It's true he made a mistake but he regrets it. So please , forgive him and grant his soul your endless love.
Also , please forgive me for the countless times when I lost faith in You and rebelled against you. Thank you for always taking care of me and loving me . thank you for my family and friends! Keep them all healthy and happy and help them make true all of their dreams!

It's been a while since i posted anything but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Lots of things happened. Can't even remember all of them exactly. But , the main event is I'm going to uni this year.
( Work and stuff )
Well , on a more happier note , lately I've gotten more addicted to kpop. Jrock is still my love but lately I felt the need to listen to more cheerful songs. I really love Super Junior's "U" and 2PM's "again and again". For those of you who haven't listened to them , here they are :






I wasn't a Super Junior fan , I'm still not a fan when it comes to music. U is the only one I like , while "Sorry sorry" , wich is more popular , I can't seem to stand it. But I'm a fan of their's like , on a personal level. I watched on youtube Super Junior Full House i wich they live with 2 foreign students in the same home. And I got to see a more natural side of them instead of that "plastic" perfect image that you see in MV's. And I got addicted to them cause they're all funny and nice and cute. Especially Heechul and Hankyung. I swear , if they weren't singers those 2 could be comedians cause they make a great pair.
K , that's about it for tonight. I'm tired and tomorow I need to leave early to get it over with the papers for uni before work. See ya sweets!!

stolen from violetdrops
Rules:
Put your music player on shuffle and put whatever plays as the answer no matter how stupid it sounds like.


My name is... sanctus espiritus (within temptation) =)

I am... oh my julia (the checkers aka hana kimi song) :))

I feel like... kamenashi kazuya (search) :P

I want to be... gazette (toguro) HAHAHAHAHA i wouldn't mind being in the band :D

I wish... carry dawn (dio)

( Read more )

*head desk*
i did it. even though i had like an allergy whenever i heard about twiter and facebook ..... i did it. i got accounts there. why? because miyavi decided to . and , since i'm totally useless with myspace and couldn't comment on his page there... i got facebook and twitter. even though i have no idea how to use them.
LJ has always been my fav. maybe miyavi should get an LJ instead :P

i just got .... rejected so to say. I was talking on YM with my friend Sam. he's a good friend of mine , although we only talked on YM until now , we got long great. he was always indulging me whenever i started to fantasize about aoi , we would dream of going to japan together , we would support each other when the other was sad and discouraged. and tonight he was complaining on how nothing works in his live. so i sugested he should try to pray to God from time to time. he laughed and said something like God is bull so i tried to explain that not everything goes our way in life and we can't blame God for every litle thing. (i know i did it to some time ago but ever since i had those dreams i started thinking diferently). i was in the midle of my explanation when he said you're brainwashed by the church. i'm off.
he just signed out , like that. puff. and i'm...... i don't know what i am. disapointed , sad , a bit angry for him being rude like that. i just never expected him to behave like that. i wasn't critising him for crying out loud. why would he do something like that? and i'm angry at myself because i'm actually crying here. what? our friendship just ended like that because i belive in God? it's not like i forced him to go to church or something. and i never thought loosing him as a friend would hurt me like that. i just want to slap him right now and yell baka. but i also feel all alone. why? because i stated an opinion? we just get off. don't talk anymore? i don't get it.

I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger. My Windows Live ID is katsumijp21@livejournal.com. Sign up now and we can chat!

gackt the ninja



gackt molested :P

aparently someone thought my life was too boring and decided to spice it up. except for the fact that they fired another 2 girls from my work , so now it's only me and the other girl , recently i've also gained a stalker. yep , you've read right.
well , he's just stalking me through the phone for now. i don't know if he knows who i am o where i live. he first called last friday , saying he randomnly dialed a number and wanted to talk. i thought he's nuts so i said no and hung up. he called the next day and i told him to stop it cause i don't want to talk to him. that night he started calling. after the first 2 calls i got iritated and closed my phone. the next morning i saw he had called nothr 6 times. last night i forgot to turn off my phone and he called at 4 A.M pissed me off. tonight he send me a sick message that sound it like 'i want you to get your hands in my pants , rub IT , make it hard' and all kind of sick stuff like that. at first i got angry and wanted to curse him. but then i thought that's exactly what he wants , to piss me of. so i sent him a more sarcastic message instead. something like "you por thing. if you can't do that by your own it means you're missing a hand. i reommend that you ask for funding for handicaped people" :D i was in my evil mood. it pissed him off , like i was expecting it would , cause he called 10 seconds after. i recieved the call but i didn't talk. i let mikaru sing him a litle bit of garasu no umi. after that he didn't call or send any messages. but i'm sure this won't stop him. i think i'm going to change my number if this keeps up.
mom's bf came by. he's drunk as always and started a fight with mom again. i so want to smack him. but i can't , he's too large.
meanwhile , we ordered pizza cause we didn't have anything in the fridge except for dog food. :)) yup , we're that pathetic. so , it's 1:18 A.M now , the pizza is on it's way. until it arrives and i'll eat it's going to be 2 A.M great , i'm gong to be a zombie again tomorow at work.
hope you guys are having a better week than i am. hugs!

It's been a while since i fangirld over Hyde sama. And this made me laugh so much , it improved my mood by milions. Watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNuIEz8SiQ0
sorry , the embeding was disabled.

Ne ne , you guys HAVE TO LOOK at this. it cracked me up so much.

YAY ! only one cigarette today. and i hate myself for it. i resisted the whole day without a smoke and tonight i had the urge for a beer and i had to take a smoke along with that beer X_X that's it! i'm giving up on beer as well. this is my last one!